So turns out I finish work tomorrow instead of Friday. Feels weird, it’s only one day’s difference but it feels like it came from out of nowhere and it’s all really sudden. As if it’s only just actually sunk in.
I can’t actually remember a time when I felt this confident in myself and my decisions. I’ve been looking back at my blog a lot recently and it feels so strange to read my posts from the beginning. I was so down and was constantly in a state of hovering over rock bottom or hitting it. I can remember a time when I fully believed I would never have control of my own head again, let alone feel happy for longer than a couple of hours.
I know I still have a long way to go, and there are no promises I won’t hit rock bottom again, but I feel happy, I feel like I can do this, I can live. I don’t want to end my life, I care about people and I know that the ones in my life would not be better off without me, that I’m just as important in their life as any of their other friends. I really want to thank them so much for that, they helped clear my head a bit.
I feel I’m turning a corner and I can face some of my demons now. Not all of them, but some is better than hiding away.
May 30th 2012