March 2012
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Feeling kinda happy at the moment. Work is going okay, I mean I did what I need to do, and it doesn’t drag too badly. I get on with it and think of the money I will get on pay day, and how I don’t actually need all of it now I don’t really go anywhere much. It’s okay, I can do it.
The friends thing is kinda not seeming such an issue to me anymore. I mean I miss them for...
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I have lost a lot of people over the past 6 months. I have apologised for the mistakes I’ve made, but this doesn’t seem to be good enough for them. To start with how I can start to make things right if you don’t talk to me? Sorry is rarely enough for people anymore, many people expect you to not only say it but show it as well. How can I when you refuse to talk to me or see me?...
“Well I need to buy a vowel, because O my god!”
– Janice “Friends”
i;ferlfkjerfjelfkje;ldfkw’;dslqs,asldfm … I need to chill the shit out.
March 14th 2012
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It’s 3 in the morning and I’m wide awake. My brain is no where near thinking about sleep yet. This alone would put me in a foul mood, but the fact my brain has also decided to start thinking about what I would say to certain people if I ever got the chance/nerve. I don’t get why it does this to me, I mean it’s been stuck inside my head for 23 years now, you’d think it...
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I had an appointment at the mental health clinic today. Why is it called mental? I know depression is a “chemical in balance” and that’s to do with the brain, but still?! It instantly makes me think about people running about naked, singing “he’s got the whole world in his hands” (sorry if you do this).
Anyway they are putting me on a new medication, which has...
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“The mood of The Day of the Dead is much lighter, with the emphasis on...”
– Anon
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So I’m thinking another new tattoo will cheer me up. The tension from my parents because of the last one has faded, though it took them a month to notice it (it’s on my wrist), you would think they would get used to the idea that I like tattoos considering I’m on no. 8, but it often is confusing to follow someone else’s thought process. I said I would go with my mate when...
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When is this feeling going to end? The never ending cycle of hating myself and being so angry with people and then feeling so lonely, shipwrecked. Every smile, moment of happiness might be the last I feel in fuck knows how long.
I’m fed up, annoyed, frustrated with myself, with other people, with England, with everything. But then I know I’ll never act on all of that, I will never...
