Swings and Roundabouts

Fuck this, fuck you, fuck goodbye, I’m gone, have fun you merry little bunch of socially inept parasites …

January 8th 2012

My head is literally going mad with paranoia. Can’t help thinking people are talking about me behind my back and don’t really like me. It’s driving me nuts! I keep telling myself I don’t care what people think … but somewhere deep down I do, and I wish I didn’t because not everyone can like me, and there are always going to be people talking behind my back. Just wish I wouldn’t drive myself insane thinking about it all, there’s nothing I can do, especially if I haven’t actually done anything wrong, and they’re just bitching because they can.

January 4th 2012

First day back at work was actually okay. People weren’t all nosey about what had been wrong with me or anything (though after nearly 6 months off, it’s kinda obvious what’s wrong isn’t it?), I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to till I feel ready, which is nice. But I still don’t wanna work there.

I’m not looking to search out my career or anything, I’m not really arsed what I do for a job, if the work is shitty that’s okay, as long as the people aren’t shitty too. But I’ve been there over a year now and it’s time to move on, can’t stick one job for too long, I’ll just start messing it up out of boredom.

Anyway today was okay, I made it without any of the many problems and situations I had thought up in my head actually happening. I guess I’ll go back tomorrow and maybe keep going back Monday to Friday till I sort out something else to occupy me for a year or so.

I’m fucking knackered though, managed to fuck last nights sleep up by worrying loads and sitting there thinking “if I go to sleep now, I’ll get 6 hours sleep”. Hopefully sleep better tonight, might take some sleeping tablets just in case though.

January 3rd 2012

Happy New Year everyone!

Had the best New Year ever in Manchester this weekend. Got to see my oldest friend for the first time in years and I fucking loved it! Thought it might be kinda awkward but it was like we had never been apart. We danced like loons, literally couldn’t get rid of my smile all night, not that I wanted to.

Met her boyfriend and loads of her friends, and they were all lovely. Was nice to just be welcomed into a group without any judgement or anything. Can’t wait to go back again next month. Start back at work tomorrow, so I’m just going to look forward to February when I can see my friend again to get me through the grind of working life!

Feeling great right now … hopefully tomorrow won’t ruin my mood.

January 2nd 2012

This might make me a total loser but I have 20 followers!! Yay my blog! Whenever someone starts following me always makes me smile … so thank you all of my followers, I’m glad you like my blog enough to follow it!

(Round of applause for you all)

December 29th 2011

Just booked train tickets to go see my oldest friend in Manchester for New Year!! So freaking excited to see her. Really want 2012 to be a good year, try and make a fresh start, so what better way to see it in than with a brilliant friend in a different city!? Looking forward to it so much, it has put me in a really good mood.

December 27th 2011