This might make me a total loser but I have 20 followers!! Yay my blog! Whenever someone starts following me always makes me smile … so thank you all of my followers, I’m glad you like my blog enough to follow it!
(Round of applause for you all)
December 29th 2011
Just booked train tickets to go see my oldest friend in Manchester for New Year!! So freaking excited to see her. Really want 2012 to be a good year, try and make a fresh start, so what better way to see it in than with a brilliant friend in a different city!? Looking forward to it so much, it has put me in a really good mood.
December 27th 2011
I’m not really sure how to say what I want to. I took an overdose on Tuesday night, got out of hospital yesterday after spending most of the night and day hooked up to a heart monitor. 4th attempt, 2nd actual overdose. I’m fucking screwed up and I don’t want to be, I didn’t ask for this and I would never wish it upon anyone, but how do you stop something that controls your head?!
I regret it because everyone seemed so angry with me … again. I know you can’t go through life without people getting angry with you, but I dunno, I really don’t know how to write what I expected, well I expected to be dead and not know, but you know what I mean, I just didn’t expect that. I’m not saying I expected crying either, before you go thinking I think the world should fall at my feet in sorrow!!
I just wish I knew what I was after.
December 22nd 2011
Feel like celebrating. Just finished a book I’ve made for a friend for Christmas, it’s full of memories and photos and silly stuff we have said and done together. It’s taken me over a month to complete and it’s 50 pages long. I know she’ll like it, makes me smile and laugh to look through.
It’s been a right pain to do though, never thought remembering stuff would be so hard! Literally I would sit down to do some of it and my mind would go blank, or I’d remember stuff I’d already written down. Then I would go out somewhere and remember shit loads, but it’s done now and I’m proud of it and happy with how it looks and I know she will like it and that’s what’s important. Having a project has really helped me, though I tended to leave it when I was really low as I didn’t want to ruin it by putting depressing things in.
Going to watch Supernatural now and relax and stare at Dean for a bit!
December 19th 2011